Care for Your Sword, Soldier!

Journal entry

 * A soldier can wear a dirty jerkin, rank footcloths and stained greaves. A soldier can walk around unshaven, can stink to high heaven or even have the mange. But his sword must always shine as if straight from the forge! For in a battle neat clothing and an eye-pleasing appearance will not save anyone's life, but a sword will, as long as its well-cared for and the main at the dull end knows what he's doing.


 * So how should you care for your blade? Simple. After every battle, wipe all the blood and guts off of it, take an oil-soaked linen rag and give it a good rub down. If you're fighting in swamplands or in heavy rain, it's worth your while to coat the blade in beeswax. You should sharpen its edges regularly, using a good whetstone. It's important to take your time in doing this – each movement should be steady and delicate, like you're stroking a virgin on your first night together.


 * If your sword develops rust, it means you're slovenly and lazy oaf. Take some sand in your hand at once and scour the blade till the stains disappear. Take heed, though, not to cut your fingers in the doing, for then you won't be any good to anyone.