|This article is about the notice board postings titled "Warning". For other similarly named articles, see Warning.|
Warning (Yuletime)Good folk,
- If you see any wonders hanging in the woods, such as treats fit for Yuletime dangling off branches - gingerbakings, honeyed apples, fritters or pies - then no matter how fierce your belly growls, turn back. Whoever partakes of those treats is never seen among the living again.
Warning (Trees have ears)
- Watch what you say. The trees have ears.
- – A kind stranger
Warning (Fyke Isle)
- No one breathe a word about what happened on Fyke Isle. Wag your tongue and you'll sorely regret it.
- Hark! Went to Crow's Perch to do a spot of trading. Them bandits just spat on my mugs, then shattered them all against the ground out of spite and gave me a sound beating on a lark. Take counsel from my misfortune and stay damned far from that Perch of miscreants.
- – Samer
- The individual who vandalized the city walls with the inscription "King Raddy will die like his daddy" must report to the nearest military outpost at once. I remind all Oxenfurt students that university privileges, the freedom of expression included, have been revoked and further such outbursts will not be tolerated.
The half-literate moron who wrote "aep arse" (spelled with a double "s" and an accent mark) on another wall is also to report to the nearest military outpost at once. Failure to do so will result in an investigation being launched and the perpetrator being prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
- –Commander Donimir Vierny
Warning (Seven Cats Inn)
- Whoever makes a ruckus in the Seven Cats, harasses other guests or fondles waitresses will be tossed out on his arse.
- –Your innkeep
- Good people,
I know the road takes a little meander hereabouts. I know the straightest path's through my fields. But next man I catch trampling my crops, why, with the gods as my witness, I swear I'll bludgeon you so badly not a single bone in your lazy body will be left intact. So consider yourselves warned and stay on the blasted road, you fucking vagrants.
- I took the wife out to dine the other night. It was our fourteenth anniversary and we wanted to celebrate it suitably, which is why we selected the Cockatrice Inn. The food that we were served was so foul, my wife vomited it all out while still at the inn, and I did the same when we reached home. I have no idea what we were served, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if it had been the corpse of a raftsman fished out of the river. One that had drowned quite some time ago, for an odor that potent does not develop overnight. They tried to convince us we were eating fresh crayfish. And I'm the duchess' daughter!
Bringer of Warnings
Warning (Plegmund's Bridge)
- Vermentino vineyard workers diddle their own mums, and one of them does his da, too.
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